Soul or No Soul? That is the Question

I often say to myself while in the middle of writing something: "This could be a chart topper, too bad it sounds like a three-year-old wrote it."  To pass my musical test, my buttons in the oven must satisfy me due to their originality, their sophisticated technicalities, and their overall sound.  Too much music I hear on the radio sounds like a carbon copy of something else on the radio, and, I'm positive I'm not the only one who has realized that.  Sure, those soul-selling artists may make a thriving livelihood and quite a name for themselves because of that music, but I couldn't in all good conscience only make music that people want to hear, which, I like to think, is objectively boring and unimaginative.

On the other hand, I need to think realistically.  I also ask myself: "This sounds amazing to me, but will others like it?  Does it matter?" I'd like to think that it doesn't matter, but I don't want to be the only person at the amusement park, I'd want others to be allowed in and have fun as well, otherwise it'd be no fun for me.  Therefore, I always have to groom my music so that it conforms enough to the point where it's actually listenable for everyone.  

It's difficult to find a compromise between the devil and angel on my shoulders.  Usually, I don't find a compromise, and I either end up writing something only a composer could love, or something that sounds like a cookie cutter product on a conveyor belt.  

There doesn't ever seem to be a win-win situation. 

First Post

Gyahh!! I'm stuck!!! Why can't this music write itself?  This is where I will go to complain about my lack of creativity, my musical inhibitions that need to be destroyed, and my musical freedoms that perhaps need a shorter leash.

I know that there is a limitless potential of unwritten music floating around in a vat somewhere.  The problem is, this vat contains just as much crap as it does masterpieces.  My job is to extract from this vat the melodies that stay in your head for days, the unique sounds that can't be recreated, and the old familiar sounds, all of which fits together in a cohesive, original, authentic piece of work that temporarily lifts my self-esteem to a tolerable level.  This is never easy.  Struggles with laziness, technology, and motivation all make this job nothing short of excruciating at times, but are all worth it when I can finally relax and admire the piece of work created completely by me from scratch. This blog will poke around in my head for my thoughts and feelings about writing music and being an aspiring composer in this harsh musical environment.