I often say to myself while in the middle of writing something: "This could be a chart topper, too bad it sounds like a three-year-old wrote it." To pass my musical test, my buttons in the oven must satisfy me due to their originality, their sophisticated technicalities, and their overall sound. Too much music I hear on the radio sounds like a carbon copy of something else on the radio, and, I'm positive I'm not the only one who has realized that. Sure, those soul-selling artists may make a thriving livelihood and quite a name for themselves because of that music, but I couldn't in all good conscience only make music that people want to hear, which, I like to think, is objectively boring and unimaginative.
On the other hand, I need to think realistically. I also ask myself: "This sounds amazing to me, but will others like it? Does it matter?" I'd like to think that it doesn't matter, but I don't want to be the only person at the amusement park, I'd want others to be allowed in and have fun as well, otherwise it'd be no fun for me. Therefore, I always have to groom my music so that it conforms enough to the point where it's actually listenable for everyone.
It's difficult to find a compromise between the devil and angel on my shoulders. Usually, I don't find a compromise, and I either end up writing something only a composer could love, or something that sounds like a cookie cutter product on a conveyor belt.
There doesn't ever seem to be a win-win situation.
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